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| 08:42pm 14/08/2006 |
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mood:  hopeful music: DEVO
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I've told most of you guys in person, but I'm going to be working on changing myself and my habits a lot this year. If you could, I'd appreciate some help. (If you answer any of them, please answer all of them.) Thanks ahead of time.
1.) What is one bad thing you can see in me, or one lame thing I do, or something about me that ticks you off?
2.) What is one thing about me that you appreciate?
3.) If you could change one thing about me, what would it be? |
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Post |
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| Postage! |
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| 11:54pm 08/07/2006 |
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(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)
| ✓ I miss somebody right now. |
✓ I don't watch much TV these days. |
× I own lots of books. (Barely any, and not enough. But I have friends I can borrow from.) |
| × I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Better than 20/20 already.) |
✓ I love to play video games. |
× I've tried marijuana. (Nope. Don't plan on it, either.) |
| ✓ I've watched porn movies. |
× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (I don't think so. I haven't had any violent breakups.) |
✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy. |
| ✓ I curse sometimes. |
✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. |
✓ I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. |
( it goes on... ) |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 06:41am 19/04/2006 |
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I always wonder what would happen if I update here.
I just kinda looked back through my recent entries... from years ago. Man, I was a dumb kid a lot. |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| Everyone's Doing It. |
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| 12:34am 18/10/2005 |
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The rules:
1. Open your music player, set it to "all" or "library" or whatever.
2. Hit "shuffle"
3. Find pictures of the first 12 artists and see if your friends in eljay land can guess who they are.
( Here we go! ) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Cessation |
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| 09:59pm 16/04/2005 |
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mood: hopeful music: Think - Medeski, Martin amd Wood
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So, I'm leaving LiveJournal.
Yeah, I'm copying Dan, but my move to Blogger is something I have actually been planning for a while. I am very sick of both LJ and Xanga. People just don't understand what journaling is about.
Journaling should be about wanting to know what someone is doin in their life, or about what new ideas and concepts one is contemplating, or what new poetry or prose on is developing. Not a competition for friends and subscriptions; not some elitism news press; not some designated form of popular conversation media. I'm really sick of the amount of eletists in Xanga, the amount of depression publicized on LiveJournal, and I'm quite sick of people who try to convince me that Xanga is the place I need to post my theology and poetry, and LiveJournal is where I should post updates about my life and attitude.
So, I'm going neutral. I'm forming a green party. I'm throwing a cinder block through the windows of LiveJorunal and Xanga and hi-tailing it outta here before someone catches me and bitches about broken glass.
I would like it if you guys here read my new Blogger. I really do enjoy reading everyone's LiveJournal thatis on my friendslist, and I very much enjoy the comments you have left on my posts or comments. However, if you just have me on your list as another tally on your Friends List or because you know who I am or because you like the same music or believe in the same God that I do, I'm sorry but you're going to lose one number on your freinds total.
I guess... I'm going to miss LJ. A Little. My new Bloger will definitely be much like it, but will also include poetry, theology, and really anything else I want. I will probably keep thriftstore_war just to comment on other peoples' LJ's, I will probably delete _blues_. Sorry. If all of this change and the fact that you can't read what I have to say on your Friends List page is too much, I'm sorry. But yeah, I really want to not be identified by what media I use. So I'm going someplace without friends lists or anything like that.
Take care, LJ land, y via con Dios.
-= http://thriftstorewar.blogspot.com =-
- Bookmark if you want, read if you would, ignore if you so desire. - |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Keep playing, even when mom says no! |
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| 05:27am 05/04/2005 |
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mood:  aggravated music: Hare Tonic - Lets Go Bowling
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So I beat Stinkoman K. W3rd. I say that level 3-2 is the hardest. Sure, bread is good for you, but trying to dodge those darn Soaps, P's, Apples and Ears is the real trick. The rest of the levels weren't much of a CHA-LLENGE!. But, that one took me like 15 minutes. And I get mad still when I play it. Stupid breads.
Also, I'm really mad at myself. I cannot focus on what I am doing anymore. I've tried asking my friends for tips. If anyone has any, lemme know. I jsut have trouble reading for long periods of time unless the book has "STAR WARS" on the front.
Also, I'm mad at a lot of things. I am so busy again. Everyone is asking me to play music, I have more assignments than anything, I haven't slept (For more than an hour) for 3 days, my job just asked that I start working Lunches too instead of just dinners, and I am having the WORST time with my new enemy, banks. I hate them. All of them.
I'm noticing that some of the things about me I thought were normal aren't. Like social phobias. Some weird stuff, dudes.
I'm also just... mad more. Mainly at mike. He just continues to piss me off a lot. And at a lot of the demi-homosexuals here. And the quasi-intellectuals. I hate those people. But what I really hate is when people that I barely know, which is everyone but maybe 10 people on campus, try to talk to me, or comment on a movie I'm watching, or peer into my room and say something friendly and moot. BLAGH. I HATE YOU, GO DIE.
I'm really wanting to just play FFXI more, start skating a bit more, and come home and play for Nothing Wasted. I'm really not wanting to work, go to school, or be a bible-college-style-Christian at the moment. I just wanna quit everything and level up a bunch. I just wanna move back home and go to a show every other day. I just.. guh. But every time I think about this, I remember that I cannot. Work sucks butt. That's what it will always do. No matter what retards here say about, "Ya havin' fun at work, MG?" or "Find something to make it fun!" or "Work with friends so it isn't so bad!", I know that WORK IS SUPPOSED TO SUCK. It makes me mad when people complain that it sucks. ITS SUPPOSED TO. So anyways, whenever I dont wanna work, I just remember that money and education is more important than games, and God is more important than fun, so I never fall into big trouble with that, but its still annoying. It jsut seems that I want comfort more recently, which is dumb. And I need to stop putting projects off until 5:30 AM the morning they are due. And I need to post in good english using better capitalization and paragraph structure. But I need to get back to homework, so I dont care. MY STUMMY HURTS! |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Knowledge of Nothing |
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| 12:03pm 22/03/2005 |
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mood:  guilty music: God Hates Astronauts - Tub Ring
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Oh, tell me who was first to announce, first to proclaim that man does nasty things simply because he doesn't know his own true interest; and that if he were to be enlightened, if his eyes were to be opened to his true, normal interests, he would stop doing nasty things at once and would immediately become good and noble, because, being so enlightened and understanding his real advantage, he would realize that his own advantage really did lie in the good; and that it's well known that there's not a single man capable of acting knowingly against his own interest; consequently, he would, so to speak, begin to do good out of necessity.
Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground. |
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Post |
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| ZOMGWTFBBQ!!!1!11one |
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| 11:09am 19/03/2005 |
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mood:  bouncy music: Numbers - Tub Ring
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O my goodness gracious... this morning is jam-packed with excitement and... stupor.
So I wake up, remember its Saturday at the end of spring break. Realize I've done nothing. (Thank you the Sims.... ugh...)
So, instead of hopping on FFXI, I plug in the ol' Gradius III cart for SNES and BEAT IT on normal for the first time. Man, that got me adrenaline pumping.
But then, I hop on and check my LJ friends, and I read a post by my good buddy Dan, who found a picture of MY MOHAWK on a JONES SODA LABEL.
Yes. That is me. And my longest mohawk. Actually on a picture. Actually on a Jones Soda label. So for you guys that drink Jones, which are already cool, go sort through Cream Soda cans to look for my head. If you find it... well... I dunno, but at least then you can say, "Hey OMG i no t3h dewd taht is on t3h label of meh soda!!1 lolz"
Man... I really need to get one of these, but touble is, OKLAHOMA is a state of COMMUNISTS that don't sell JONES. So... unless I can find a vendor, I'm offering a reward for anyone in Jones-selling states to the first person who can aquire one of these cans for me.
Anyways, so yesterday while I was looking around used CD joints with NickDon, I found two awesome CDs that I already have illegal copies of, but now own. Armageddon Massive by the Dingees, (which was funny, because they are a Christian Reggae/Ska band that doesn't exist anymore, was listed in the punk section along with Blink 182 and Boxcar Racer... hahaha...), as well as Drake Equation by Tub Ring, te most hyper musicians I have ever heard, seen, or played a show with. And what really rocks is that the Tub Ring CD has a signature from the lead singer on it! So yeah. Neato-Frito.
>>>EDIT!!!<<<
I talked to my dad, and investigated the Jones Soda website, and I believe that I might not be on yet, but pending. SO! What everyone can do to help out is:
1. CLICK on the picture I have up here. It will take you to the Jones Soda page.
2. RATE me up to a "10" for the picture. This will make me eligible to get on the can.
3. UM... That's it.
Thanks guys! |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Wow.. a happy update! |
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| 09:45pm 12/03/2005 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Castlevania: SOTN Music. Most excellent.
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So yes, lots of fun things have been going on in the life of our dear Emgee. Yesterday I got my pet turtle in the mail. Yay! Turtles are super rad. So I named him Tortuga (It beat Donatello only because my last turtle was named Donatello...) and he is the coolest turtle ever. He's like 2 inches big. If anyone want to see him, lemme know, I wanna take pics but I only have a webcam. So, I might take him out and take some pics and post 'em. Later.
Also, I just got done finishing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night for PS1. Excellent game. I recommend it to anyone who likes the Zelda series (Lots of swords and stuff.), the Contra series Its a side-view.), or Final Fantasy (Level ups, duh.). I beat it with 197.7% completion rating, so that's good enough for me.
I had some nasty mid-terms yesterday. and I've decided that Biology is by far the dumbest subject on all earth. Nobody should care about it. When in my career am I going to need to predict what percentage of a chance there might be in my kid having my color hair and eyes, and what gametes and phenotypes have to do with it? That's right, never. So yes, Biology = useless.
Other great news!!! TOMFest is back this year! And its on dates that I can attend! Woo7! So I'm going to ask the NW crew if they want to get in. I think it would be rad if we could, it would be contributing to getting the best music festival ever back into existence, and... well it will just be plain fun.
So its now spring break. I know that because I woke up at 6PM today and I missed nothing important. It should be god, Nickdon left for wichita for the weekend; he went alone because he has some thinking to do. Paul and Bree left for Paul's valley for the weekend. Jeremy left with Lauren to go to Michigan, Marshall (Which, may I add, has a mohawk now. ^^) went back to Texas, Luke went... I dont remember where he went, but he went. So... I'm stuck here all alone! Nope. Mike is here too. Oh. Boy. Locking my door and spending a week in FFXI-land never sounded so good.
Hrm... I really should take some pics of Tortuga... but he's had a long day and I think he's tired. I showed him to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) hopefulhero, so he was a movie star last night, but he got really shy. Meh, he's a turtle. So anyways, hope everyone has a great spring break, and for those who don't have it yet, ZOMG suxxorzes 2 B u!!! lolz!111!!!one |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Wow... S-M-R-T |
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| 09:05am 10/03/2005 |
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mood:  quixotic music: Jocko Homo - DEVO
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So I just walked into my World Civilizations class like 15 minutes early, and there was another class going on, and I didn't figure out what was going on until I stopped in the middle of the class, realized that I recognized nobody in it, and they were all staring at me, and the teacher had paused his lecture.
So I just said, "Oh, I'm early." And walked out. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Sonetos Espirituales - Juan Ramon Jimenez |
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| 03:24am 08/03/2005 |
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mood:  impressed music: Golden Ticket - The Philibusters
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To the Sonnet with My Soul
As in the wing infinite flight exists,
and in the flower the wandering perfume,
in the flame the moving lucent bloom,
and in the blue only the sky persists;
as in a song is comfort for grief's spell,
in water's flow, coolness that vivifies,
and noble richness in the diamond's guise
so in my flesh does total longing dwell.
In you, O sonnet, this pure yearning finds
its image, as within a quiet pool,
reflected its immortal miracles.
The unending clarity of its beauty shines
like the sky of a fountain, limitless
within the limits that your shores impose.
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Man... this dude really is the king of metaphors. Doing a report on him, woo hoo. Not much new in life, just doing homework a lot, I started playing soccer, should be getting a pet turtle tomorrow, and one of my friends is bummed to pray for him. Boy oh boy I dunno why I am so hyper at the weirdest times of the day. This morning I woke up at 4:00, and at class, I was super-hyper. And now, its almost 4 and I haven't even slept, and I'm still hyper again. /shrug. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Bored.... BORED! BOOORRREEDDD!!!!! |
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| 02:26am 28/02/2005 |
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mood:  mellow music: Pinhead - The Ramones
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Three names you go by
1. MG (Pronounced Emgee.)
2. MG (Pronounced Midge.)
3. Matt (To some old friends and relatives.)
Three screen names you have had
1. ItsMGsFault (CRHS Band joke.)
2. Chicken MacDuff (Play off of a Shakespearean character.)
3. xX_Cait_Sith_FF7_Xx (Wow... I was such a n00b.)
Three parts or your heritage
1. American.
2. Danish.
3. Uhh... Washingtonian?
Three thing that scare you
1. Flying insects.
2. Even slightly scary movies.
3. Large groups of talking people.
Three of your everyday essentials
1. Final Fantasy.
2. A shower.
3. Webcomics.
Three of you favorite bands/musicians
1. The Aquabats.
2. The Specials.
3. DEVO.
Three of your favorite songs at present
1. Dub 56 - The Toasters.
2. Commando - The Ramones.
3. Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA - DEVO.
Three things you want to try in the next 12 months
1. Out for soccer.
2. Owning a turtle again.
3. Working out an hour a day.
Three things you want in a relationship
1. Time with and away from significant other in proportion.
2. Communication.
3. New appreciation for music/movies that they might like.
Two truths and a lie
1. Raphael is my least favorite TMNT.
2. I have beaten every Final Fantasy title.
3. I prefer ATI graphics cards to GEForce ones.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you
1. Hair.
2. Mouth.
3. Choice of clothing.
Three things you just can?t do
1. Respect XBOX owners.
2. Find time to play FFXI.
3. Shoot missiles from my ear-holes.
Three of your favorite hobbies
1. Playing older video games.
2. Writing fiction and persuasive prose.
3. Playing war games, whether board or computer.
Three things you want to do really badly right now
1. Finish my reading for Human World Geography class in 5 hours.
2. Sleep.
3. Do away with World of Warcraft, Xanga.com, and all forms of religious institutions.
Three careers you are considering
1. English teacher.
2. "Rock Star."
3. Writer.
Three places you want to go on vacation
1. Japan.
2. Back to Washington for a while.
3. Australia.
Three things you want to do before you die
1. Get my Thief to level 75 in FFXI.
2. Write a book that will be used in Literature classes in the future.
3. Learn to surf.
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Well that was a fun diversion from homework. Here's a breakdown of why I cannot wait until the 'morrow:
-My iPod should arrive!
-I should get a copy of my band's CD in the mail. I will be the only one in outside of Washington with a copy! \^/007!111!!
-Bree, Luke, and I are going to order some turtles for pets. I've already named mine. Any guesses?
-The chapter we will discuss today in Geography class will be about Pacific Northwest Indians. Extremely interesting, and I already know a lot about 'em.
So in conclusion, "No clamdigger." |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Productive? Bah! |
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| 01:22am 22/02/2005 |
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mood:  pleased music: Don't Let the B's Grind You Down - The Toasters
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My birthday was pretty swell.
Goods:
-Along with Kevin Rohr and Josh.... Someone, I won another Axis and Allies game. This time as allies; I was the USA, and pretty much got pwned until I did a random attack on Japan and took the capital.
-Slept a lot.
-Had to say goodbye to Nickdon for a week. I know that dumb, but when you have only 2 really solid friends, and maybe 5 more great friends around, its lame having to go a week without one. We stayed up all night and discussed the futility of MACU, how we aren't doing our jobs to change it, and how we can start. Good times.
-I didn't get sung "Happy Birthday" to once today!!! \^/007!!11
-I really participated a lot in the discussion in my Human Geography class a lot. I love disagreeing with everyone just because, in my experience, everyone is dumb. So defending a point that is the antithesis of the rest of the class is so much fun.
-Got to talk to Eddy over phone and over internet Dan and Steve. I miss those guys.
-Played a little bit of SWCCG again!
Bads:
-10 people in total wished me a happy birthday. I really liked not getting publicly sung to and stuff, but it was kinda lame that nobody knew.
-Got an e-mail a few days ago telling me that the iPod I ordered to arrive on my birthday, due to Apple's boned up system, won't be shipped until at least the 3rd of March. So that's neat, a birthday present I ordered a week before my birthday will get here half a month after it.
-Had to leave a EXP party in the Boyahda Tree in FFXI to go to work. That was a bummer. And work just plain blew tonight. But eh, its not supposed to be great, its work.
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I'm trying to decide if I really want to go see Tsunami Bomb tomorrow night. So far I'm leaning against going. |
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| I want this soooo bad. |
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| 12:17pm 13/02/2005 |
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mood:  rejuvenated music: Walk by Faith - Fresh Start worship band
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ALSO
I need to make a new LJ icon. Any ideas? Should I try for another Bass/Forte one to keep up the Megaman thing, or try something new? Meh,its no big deal, but I do need to make one. Away! |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| Save & Exit? Save & Continue? Continue Without Saving? |
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| 11:32am 09/02/2005 |
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mood:  gloomy music: That's Good - DEVO
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Why haven't we developed a save system for life? So, when we know we are gonna do something dumb, or dangerous, or with a high chance of failure or humiliation, we could save right before it, so once we make an idiot out of ourselves we could just pop back to where we saved and everyone else would be none the wiser? You would think that in a culture plagued by idiotic behavior we could make something to at least lessen our degree of foolhardiness. Its just lame when you are in that state of decision, weighing something out whether you will succeed or not, whether you will get hurt or not, whether you will have made a dope out yourself or not. You know that you have a chance to succeed, but an equal or higher chance of failure. I put this creation in the same pile I put others that I can't believe humanity hasn't developed yet. Like robots. Why on earth don't we have robots yet? Its saddenning. I mean, if instead of developing new machines that chop salad, or finding different kinds of fossil fuels to waste, or launching satellites into space for the sole purpose of spreading the TV poison across the world, couldn't we have instead spent money making something awesome? I mean, here we are, humans, the developed creatures, and yet we don't have robots, or save points, or terraforming machinations. I mean, what's gonna happen when people in charge finally realize that because we aren't controlling our population, we are going to have to find more habitable planets or die, and instead of having a machine to terraform Mars into something demi-hostpitable, we are stuck with a toaster overn that has 8 slots--extra wide, so you can cook bagels in it too! Bah, I just start ranting sometimes, but man, we really should be mindful of our future. As for me, I want to reset and go back to my last save, maybe days ago, maybe years ago. But since that hasn't been made yet, I think I'll go to Biology. At least I can look forward to Friday, the Toasters are coming. Hope I find a ride.
I've been with the world, and I'm tired of this soup du jour.
I've been with the world, and I wanna end this prophylactic tour.
I'm afraid nobody around here understands my potato.
They think I'm only a spud boy, looking for a real tomato. |
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| I'm a man with a mission; a boy with a gun. I've got a picture in my pocket of the lucky one. |
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| 03:07am 07/02/2005 |
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mood:  rushed music: Gates of Steel - DEVO
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Random update!
1)Have a lot of homework to due tonight, including preparing a presentation for Human Geography and a test in Systematic Theology. VV007z0|2z.
2)Apparently pissed of a few members in my linkshell when I kicked someone out. Now people look at me as a jerk. Do I stand out to people in real life as one who is abrasive enough to be called a flat-out jerk?
3)I love DEVO. Everyone go listen to Blockhead and Smart Partol/Mr. DNA. So good.
4)I recently got 50 invites in Gmail. If anyone wants to try out Gmail, let me know. I'll give a shameless plug, its very stable, gives a gig of space, and free pop3 account. I'm really appreciating it.
5) I wish my brother would update his LJ from time to time. I wanna hear from him, but when I try to talk he usually has to leave, study, or is otherwise busy. Which is cool.
6)I don't know how to stop my clock from repeatedly alarming after it goes off. Annoying, but very effecting at waking capability.
7)I'm debating asking someone out. Ya know, its almost Valentine's day, wouldn't that just be teh uber-sweetzors if MG asked a girl out for V-day? Everyone now! - Awwwww! - But yeah. I can't convince myself to do it. I'm *very* content without a girlfriend. I have tried to think of what I would do with a girlfriend, and all I can think of is study, go see movies with, eat together, and maybe just hang out with? I'm not comfortable just doing nothing but talking to people. Yet. I doubt any girl would want to sit with me and play SNES or just hang out and listen to geeky music with me. So yeah, I'll think abut it tonight while I do homework, and perhaps ask tomorow at class.
8)I talked to abby tonight, it was great. I really need to talk to Eddy, but he didn't aswer his phone when I called. I want to talk to Dan, and probably will try to tomorrow. I talk to Paul a lot, which makes me content. (BTW-congrats on leaving FFXI. You are very missed, but I am glad that you had the fortitude to do what you did.) So many others I wanna call. E-mail me if you want me to call you.
9)I've become actually sure of my decision that WoW is a waste of time and money. I don't want to start a public flame war, but if anyone would like to discuss why it = teh suxxor, e-mail me.
10) Started playing Super Metroid again. I am changing my favorite games to add that to the top few. Best graphics on SNES + Great pre-play value + Difficulty of play + continuation of NES game + Spazer beam = roxxor j00r boxxorz.
11)In case you haven't figured out, I am actively trying to incorporate Leetspeak into vocal language. So much fun.
12)Now I need to try to decide my favorite games, not that I thought of it.
1- Secret of Mana
2 - Final Fantasy XI
3 - Mega Man 7
4 - Final Fantasy VII
5 - Final Fantasy Tactics
6 - Super Metroid
7 - Counter-Strike: Source
8 - Ninja Gaiden (For NES, not XBOX... Ugh, why oh why?)
9 - Gradius III
10 - Final Fantasy IX
13)Goodnight! |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| Prodigal |
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| 01:52am 02/02/2005 |
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mood:  touched music: Peek-a-boo! - DEVO
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Today has been one of the best days of my life. I lost a coat last year, that was -very- special to me. I can still remember finding it at the 4th Plain Goodwill, not having the 6 bucks for it, hiding it, coming back 2 days later and buying it. I can remember where I got every patch. Most of the patches are from bands that don't exist anymore. I've had it for years, and most people could identify me in High School as "That kid in the patch-covered jacket. Losing it was a great blow, as it dissappeared more than a year ago when I left it in a class for an hour before I returned. I looked all over for it, searched the Lost and found ever since, asked friends. To no avail.
Today I was working in the cafeteria washing dishes and a friend that I don't talk to much anymore came up and greeted me. "MG, did you lose something lately?" "Uhh... what are you talking about?" "Did you lose a coat?" Mg thinks. "Umm... no. Wait, what kind?" "Its-" "Covered in patches?!?" "Yeah!" "What?!" "I found it in the lost and found today!"
I have been reunited with my jacket! /hurray! I'm so so so so happy right now. This means nothing to most of you, but to anyone who knew me whilst I had it, you -must- know how much it meatn to me. What a divine providence; gone for more than a -year- and now back! Thank you so much! |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| Butter over too much bread. |
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| 10:44pm 20/01/2005 |
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mood:  drained music: Thanks for Nothing - Tsunami Bomb
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I always hated people who said they hate their lives.
I guess I can join their ranks now.
I just can't stand what I'm doing. Being successful. Doing things. I am doing better in terms of a healthy lifestyle than I ever have before. I've begun studying heavily for my classes, even those that don't really require it. I've began to work, and although its minimum wage, I put everything I have into it because I know it will keep me working there and it will make my dad proud. I have actualy been getting somewhat muscular from work and other things that I've been doing. I've been more social than I ever have been. I give up doing things that really only matter to myself to go hang out with my friends. I even give up things I know I need to do in order to help out Nickdon with his now broken relationship and the tyrannical ex-girlfriend. I listen to Romo and Bree when they say I need to get out and hang out and be social, and have made so many more friends. I have began to serve the Lord through playing in chapel, and gotten to hang out with two excellent guitarists and people, Luke and Ryan. I've been honing in my drum skills, and working incredibly hard on learning to use my double pedal. I've been saving money for things I know I will have to do in the future instead of wasting it on old games or pizza.
But I hate how I am.
I have not had any free time of more than 15 minutes in weeks. I am so busy being fruitful, I cannot be MG anymore. I have almost stopped playing my favorite game, which tears at my heart. I don't want to be like I am now. I'm MG. I'm not a social bug. I'm not a worship drummer. I'm not a work-a-holic. I've forgotten what I used to be.
I used to be a get-the-job-done-and-play kinda worker. I used to be a punk; a rudeboy. I used to play games when I wanted to, and I used to just sit alone away from people if I wanted to.
But everythings going the way of the common man now. I'm wanted in cliques, worship bands, study groups, wal-mart runs, late-night discussions. I'm not rude to people anymore. I'm giving of myself to the point that I don't even give to myself anymore. and it sucks.
My laptop power cord broke, so now I can't use it for notes or schedules or anything. My final fantasy time has been shortened to almost couple hours a week, and my resposibility level in-game has gone up, now that peopl ehave started to see me as a regular and a good role-player. People who used to just be nice and not care now side with assholes and rub new games in my face, and then proceed to insult me, a best friend, and my choices. I forgot to put my laundry up and now everything I own is all wrinkled and crappy. My best friend here isn't sticking up for himself so I have to do so much for him and re-assure him all the time. Mike is being a bigger ass-hat than ever, and he thinks I condone it because he understood a talk we had wrong. l have to somehow come up with 400$ for books before I can feel right about even paying to food or other things I want.
Stuff sucks. I want what I had back.
I want to play my freaking Final Fantasy for 3-4 hours a day, even though people here or my dad don't like it. I want to play in Nothing Wasted right now. I want to go to punk and ska shows here in OKC without all the wanna-be quasi-punks here. I wanna only talk to maybe 4 people and be alright with that. I want to straight up tell mike how I feel about him and how I never want to see or talk to him again. I want to start writing again. I want to be friends with Dan again. I want to talk to Eddy again. I want to want a relationship with my God again. I want to be on good terms with my youth pastor again.
I must be a selfish prick, huh? Oh well, like so many have people have rebuked me before, 'I can post whatever I want on my journal." |
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Read 4 - Post |
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exanimate